Recovery III: May All Be Healed

Recovery III: May All Be Healed

by | Mar 7, 2020 | Breast Cancer, General Communications

Introduction

In this post, I would like to share my experiences with breast cancer recovery, as well as my prayers for the well-being of all of humanity during this global health crisis. We are all affected by this in one way or another. And, in some way, we are all recovering from something in this moment that needs to be attended to. My heart goes out to those under quarantine or directly affected by the virus at this time.

If you would like to take a break from the news, please join me as I also share a couple of enjoyable stories of how Robin’s spirit has shown up during my recovery.

This is one of the spiritual advantages of afterlife communication: it is comforting and joyful to know that we can talk to our loved ones in spirit when we are experiencing a crisis. Their presence can bring love, wonder and joy into an otherwise daunting situation. It is my personal experience that loved ones in spirit do listen and know exactly what is going on with us.

There is a lot being said about negative contagions right now and rightfully so. But, since I like to be the counterbalance, I would like to mention that love and kindness can also be contagious in a good way. These spiritual qualities are some of the best antidotes for what is going around right now.

Be the Counterbalance

It is important to flip these negative circumstances into their positive correlates. There are happy, constructive contagions that we need to remember as well. Maybe it’s the Libra in me always trying to balance the scales!

So, with all that said, here is my update and stories. I hope you like them!

A Silver Lining

I like to share my experiences with breast cancer recovery here because I know that millions of women around the world are diagnosed every year.

That means millions more family and friends are affected by it. My husband and I belong to a world-wide community. Somebody reading this post may have breast cancer now, had it and recovering like me, or know someone who does. So, in that spirit of camaraderie, I would like to share my stories with you.

Having breast cancer is not necessarily a death sentence, especially if it is caught early.

February was my month for going to see my oncologist, breast surgeon and having my diagnostic mammogram. The one I had on February 10th showed no signs of cancer for which I am very grateful.

When you are in breast cancer recovery, it is recommended that you have mammograms every six months for two years after the initial diagnosis. I am still within that time frame and will have another in August, 2020. Then, after that, if everything continues to go well, I will go back to having mammograms once a year, like most women.

I have been very fortunate to have loving and kind doctors during this experience. My surgeon is always talking about the importance of joy. She spoke with me about having an attitude of joy, even before I was about to be wheeled into surgery in 2018!

Sure, easy for her to say! At that time, I was terrified, not knowing if the cancer had spread to my lymph nodes (which it didn’t). But, I was lucky to have her. I truly admire her and so grateful for her lighthearted attitude.

She taught me that even in the midst of a life-threatening illness, I could still think of something that brought me joy. Even just hearing the word made me feel better in that moment. So, if joy can help in coping with cancer, I believe it can be applied to coping with Covid-19. May we continue to find things that bring us joy. If we look for it and invite it, we will find it

Having these wonderful doctors is a silver lining for me in my recovery journey. I wish the same for you if you are recovering from cancer or any other illness.

Some Ups and Downs

As part of my recovery, I take medication to help prevent the cancer from coming back. In November, 2019, I was switched from Tamoxifen, which I had been on since October 2018, to the aromatase inhibitor, Femara.

After seven weeks, I started to have a very bad reaction to it. I jokingly say that my husband said I was like a catatonic zombie! Not fun. I couldn’t concentrate, I couldn’t write my blog posts here, I had no interest in the holidays, I was burning up and felt like I had the flu all of the time.

This is why I did not write very much during the holidays. It was all I could do to get Robin’s Selah post up for his birthday.

I recognized I wasn’t doing very well on this and said to my oncologist that I wanted to be taken off Femara and to go back on Tamoxifen. As a survivor, I feel it is important for me to be my own advocate since I have the ability to do so. So, that’s what I take now.

I know some women don’t like it. But I want to maximize my chances of preventing the estrogen-receptor positive cancer from coming back. At least with this medication, I feel like my normal self and can function.

When I first started taking Tamoxifen, I was scared about how it would affect me. Those fears were and are valid.

Then, I recalled how one of my favorite authors, Stephen Levine, wrote about how to take medication with more awareness and consciousness in his book, Healing Into Life and Death.

Please click here to see an excerpt from Chapter 14 called, Taking Your Medicine. I include this because it may help someone in a similar situation.

This really helped me to establish a connection with the medication I chose to take. I imagined that it was my protector. I also imagined that it had only positive effects in my body. It actually did help.

This approach did not work with Femara because the medication is just too strong for my energy system. But, the Stephen Levine approach did help me become aware of the problems it was causing me more quickly than perhaps I otherwise would have. It is very important to be conscious when taking any medication, and to be fully aware of how it is affecting you.

To each her own with this issue. Maybe someone reading this is taking Tamoxifen too and understands where I’m coming from. It’s not an easy decision to make.

All of these medications have side effects. That is the reality. There are pros and cons to taking the medication and to not taking it. But, my decision to take it was made with my husband as well. You don’t have to make major medical decisions all on your own if you don’t want to. Input from loving, supportive and understanding family members and friends can be very helpful. If you don’t have loving family members, I hope you have good doctors that can help you make the best decisions.

When it comes down to it, I want to spend whatever is left of my life making the most of it, not worrying about the cancer coming back. Remember Memento Mori, especially given everything that is going on in the world. Maximize your time here to the best of your ability.

How Robin’s Spirit Shows Up During my Recovery Journey

Any sign of Robin’s spirit with me brings me great joy. So, I have a couple of stories to share with you that reveal how his energy is with me in surprising ways, when I least expect it.

Part 1: Lumpectomies and Saturday Night Fever (Yes, really!)

Last November, I mentioned that I had a lump in my right calf, which turned out to be benign. Around that time, on November 15th, I had been doing lots of research on benign conditions of the leg, like cysts, while I was waiting for my leg biopsy results.

Actually, after the biopsy on November 12th, I could not feel the lump anymore, so I figured it was a cyst which collapsed as a result of taking the tissue sample.

Even though I was researching conditions of the leg, I saw a breast cancer story by Deborah Copaken Kogan, Executive Editor of Everyday Health come up in my search. Here it is. If you have had breast cancer, I’m sure you will be able to relate to her story. I can.

I read through her story. Then I came to the fun part, which to me was a sign of Robin’s presence with me in a most amazing and unexpected way.

Here is the quote:

“Wow,” said the next radiologist I saw. “There’s a giant party going on in your breasts.” I pictured the dance floor scene from Saturday Night Fever, my seven breast lumps in place of John Travolta and his buddies, doing the hustle… (1)

We scheduled more biopsies, during which the radiologist overseeing them said that my MRI films were so unusual, so odd, he would be using them that week at his teaching hospital, as a case study. (As a case study in what, I wondered, disco boobs?) (1)

I had to laugh when I saw this! I love her sense of humor, God bless her. I thought, of all places to see a reference to the Bee Gees and Saturday Night Fever.

Here is the video from the article:

The funny thing was, this was several hours after I finished writing the Sesame Street Synchronicity post. I had just been looking at Sesame Street Fever videos all day. It seems I was a magnet that day for finding this article!

We even get a reference to “disco boobs.” The doctor said that was a party going on in her breasts. If a doctor said that to me, I would have laughed and said it’s more like a demolition crew, haha!

Hey, you may as well have fun with it.

My surgeon said that cancer cells in the breast look like a “starry night” in mammogram imaging. I thought that only a beautiful soul like her could come up with that metaphor for something that can take you out! Thank God for these gentle doctors who try to lessen the blow. I love them.

Starry Ceiling

Part 2: Stage 4 Breast Cancer Survivor and Robin’s Birth Date

I have one more story to share. Recently, during the first week of February, 2020, I did some research on women’s stories after they found out they had stage 4 breast cancer. I went to this website, https://www.breastcancer.org/. A lot of the stories are encouraging and I admire the strength of these ladies.

I saw a list of stories, and scrolled down through them, but I did not click on any. Then, I saw one that inspired me because she was talking about enjoying life. It is by DivineMrs.M.

In the brief excerpt that I saw on the web page, she talked about how she was traveling, gardening and enjoying life to the fullest even though she had stage 4 breast cancer. So, I decided to click on the link to read the rest of her story. I was so surprised when I saw what for me was the presence of Robin’s spirit with me. The bold is mine for emphasis:

“I was a woman in my early 50’s in good health, married for over 20 years with a son in his senior year of high school (who got yearly mammograms since the age of 40) when almost four years ago, on December 22, 2010, I felt a thickening in my left breast. This was six days after my annual mammogram. Within a month, I learned it was estrogen-positive, HER2-negative stage IV breast cancer. (2)

There was Robin’s birth date, December 22nd, in the first story I clicked on. I have a heart connection with his birth date numbers, so this was very powerful, meaningful and beautiful for me. It was such a nice surprise gift.

Loved ones in spirit like to communicate with meaningful numbers, like birth dates and anniversaries, to let us know they are there. You can read more about this and other afterlife signs here.

This communication made me think of the Bee Gees song, For Whom the Bell Tolls. It’s so beautiful and I usually tear up when I listen to it.

I think of it because Robin poignantly sings, “I promise I’ll be there.”

Indeed he is. In different ways, as some of you have also experienced. He had a good way of leaving afterlife messages behind in his songs. It is like his soul was speaking through the songs, leaving us hints that his presence would still be around. That is how I perceive it and it is wonderful to feel that at times like these.

I wish I knew what the book is at 3:02 into the video.

Closing Words and Prayer

The message I have been given, through synchronicity, is that it is important to stay very close to God at this time. If you don’t believe in God, I understand this won’t work for you.

But if you do, my guidance says it is very important to think about God as being close to you, filling you and surrounding you with love and health.

I also suggest thinking about loving, caring and supportive loved ones in spirit as being very close to you as well. Those of us still incarnate on earth often have a tendency to think of loved ones in spirit as being off in some far-away place. But, my experience is that they are actually very close spiritually, can interact with us and comfort us.

Paramahansa Yogananda said:

“To those who think me near, I will be near.” (3)

This also applies to God, our deceased loved ones and ancestors, guardian angels and higher guides. If you think them near, they will be near.

My wish for you is that you experience their presence during any crisis you may encounter, including this global health crisis we find ourselves in now.

I would like to close with a prayer:

May all beings experience an infusion of Divine Love.

May all beings be in touch with the Light of their being.

May all beings live from their hearts.

May all beings be fully healed in mind, body and spirit.

May God send angels to keep you in all your ways.

Thank you so much for reading!

Namasté!

References

  1. Copaken Kogan, Deborah (Executive Editor, Everyday Health), I Went in For A Lumpectomy and Came Out A Lottery Winner, Last Updated: 2/12/2014.
  1. M, DivineMrs., DivineMrs.M’s Story, Last modified on February 2, 2018 at 8:37 AM
  1. Novak, Devi (2005). Faith is My Armor: The Life of Swami Kriyananda, Chapter 7

Love,

Christina Samuels Signature

 

St. Uriel

St. Uriel

by | Mar 29, 2019 | General Communications, Synchronicity

On a daily basis, I invite Robin’s spirit to be a part of my life. How I do this varies. Some days, I will recite a mantra.

Other days, I will read a guided meditation to him or say a Christian prayer. I regularly bring him a cup of tea. Sometimes, I sit at his altar and play some of his music, like the beautiful Bee Gees song Wedding Day. Is anybody reading this getting married soon? This might be a great song for you!

Attunement with Saints

On March 23rd, I decided to invite him into my day by reading this article called Celebrating Our Inner Attunement with a Great Soul (December 27, 2016) by Tyagi Jayadev.

This blog post is from Ananda, a yogic spiritual organization based on the teachings of Paramahansa Yogananda and founded by his direct disciple Swami Kriyananda.

I printed this article quite a while ago, but was guided back to it on this day because of its teachings on inner closeness and attunement with a saint. When I read this article and put its suggestions into practice, I feel I am fine-tuning my spirit communication skills.

So, I read some parts of this article out loud to Robin. Just as the prayers were adapted to include a saint, I adapted them to include Robin too (see #1 Prayer to the Saint in the article). I offered this invitation:

“Beloved Robin, I will enjoy your spirit, your music and your interviews. I will feel you in my heart. I will think you in my thoughts. I am open to any wisdom you have to share with me.”

As it was written, I think this is a beautiful prayer to adapt to a saint, your Lord, God, or any loved one in spirit that is of Love and in a good place spiritually. It helps to develop inner closeness and warmth with your loved one. I would only want to invite this with a spiritual being that I love and trust and who loves me. This quote below is very important to keep in mind:

“One can develop cosmic magnetism by thinking of God and saintly people. By concentrating deeply upon a certain personality, one can attract that personality. That is why one should think only of great individuals.”

This message above from Paramahansa Yogananda mirrors the message from Mr. William Stead that I wrote about in my post, The Blue Island. The bold is mine:

“Anyone who sits for a moment and allows his mind to dwell on some dear one who has “died” will actually draw the spirit of that person to himself. He may be conscious or unconscious of the presence, but the presence is there.  If people on earth realized the result of their thoughts upon those to whom they refer, they would be very much more careful in giving their mind free play.”

Over the years, Robin has shown himself to be a kind and loving spirit in his actions towards me. This is why I trust him enough to engage in practices such as this. I have learned so much from him as evidenced by what I have written throughout this website. He is a dear and trustworthy spiritual guide. My spiritual life and learning really opened up after he “died.” I have been in soul school with him for almost 7 years. That’s what it is to me.

I also like section 3 of this article, Meditating with the Saint. It really is a form of afterlife communication. The author encourages us to feel our saint very near, alive and present.

This reminded me of another excerpt I recently read, written by Laura Patsouris. She is the author of a book called Weaving Memory: A Guide to Honoring the Ancestors.

In her book, she writes about welcoming your ancestors into your home and inviting them to weave themselves into the fabric of your everyday life. In this way, our loved ones are free to make their presence known and do indeed feel very close, spiritually alive and available.

Here is the excerpt.

Whether it is an ancestor, a saint, your twin soul, God, Buddha, Jesus, or a beloved grandparent, we can invite any of these loved ones in spirit to weave their energy, guidance and presence into our daily lives. It is a beautiful spiritual practice. Eventually, we are going to be where they are. So, we may as well create these loving bonds and keep them strong now while we are embodied. When the time for our passing comes, we will be glad we did.

Afterlife CommunicationsSo on this day, I invited Robin and the rest of my spiritual support system into my life and daily activities to communicate any messages however they wished. My job is to keep my heart open to the communications, but I surrender the how to them. They know much better than me what is best each day.

I focused on this article on communion and attunement with saints until I felt ready to get on with the rest of my day.

 

St. Uriel

Later in the day, I was out driving with my husband. To my surprise, in front of us, was a car with a license plate that read ST URIEL. On the back windshield it said, Angels Help Us. I was very moved and struck by this as I had just spent the morning meditating with Robin on attuning with saints! It was a beautiful moment and very rare to see such a license plate. I see that as my communication back from Robin acknowledging the time I spent with him in meditation and reading that morning.

In the article, the word “saint” is mentioned 25 times, so as I entered into my day, I was infused with this energy! It was such a blessing to see this license plate.

Since I was given this license plate communication, I felt it important to research and study St. Uriel in more depth. I think Spirit was telling me that he is a good saint for me to connect and work with. There is lots of information online about him. Briefly, he is said to be the angel that warned Noah of the impending flood. He is also said to help cleanse toxic emotions. Here are some resources on St./Archangel Uriel for your edification:

My history with Paramahansa Yogananda

I first became acquainted with the teachings of Paramahansa Yogananda during my yoga teacher training back in 2008. I read his book Autobiography of a Yogi for an important assignment. I felt connected to him and transformed by his teachings. I went on to study the Self-Realization Fellowship lessons and occasionally attended services at a center.

Chapter 43, The Resurrection of Sri Yukteswar is one of my favorite chapters of his book. If you are interested in reading it, it is available to you for free at the link I provided above.

At the time I read it in 2008, I didn’t know it, but it was preparing me for my relationship and communications with Robin. This chapter is about Paramahansa Yogananda’s afterlife communication with his deceased guru Sri Yukteswar. He goes into detail about the astral world and astral beings.

I found this teaching below particularly relevant and important and I placed in bold the statements very salient to me. I think this provides a clue as to how Robin was able to recognize me, his twin from his soul family that he never met:

“The earth-liberated astral being meets a multitude of relatives, fathers, mothers, wives, husbands, and friends, acquired during different incarnations on earth, as they appear from time to time in various parts of the astral realms. He is therefore at a loss to understand whom to love especially; he learns in this way to give a divine and equal love to all, as children and individualized expressions of God. Though the outward appearance of loved ones may have changed, more or less according to the development of new qualities in the latest life of any particular soul, the astral being employs his unerring intuition to recognize all those once dear to him in other planes of existence, and to welcome them to their new astral home.” (Pg. 483-484)

I am a firm believer that once we leave our physical bodies and this plane of existence, we are able to find, discern and read the energy patterns of those we once knew and loved. But, I don’t think we necessarily have to wait until physical death to be able to discern and intuit those with whom we share a deep spiritual connection.

Afterlife CommunicationsThrough my own heart and soul intuition, I was able to identify Robin, like a needle in a haystack, as one of my own from my soul family. We all possess and can develop this type of intuition. The key after that is to trust it and to see if God and our loved one respond with validation. If it is a true spiritual connection based on love and caring for the spirit of another, you will receive an answer.

References

Patsouris, Laura (November 21, 2011) Weaving Memory: A Guide to Honoring the Ancestors, Asphodel Press.

Yogananda, Paramahansa (1946) Autobiography of a Yogi, Authorized by the International Publications Council of Self-Realization Fellowship, Pgs. 483-484.

Thank you for reading!

With Love,

Christina

Skepticism: Part One

Skepticism: Part One

by | Nov 22, 2018 | General Communications

On Monday, November 19, 2018, Julian told me about a podcast by Oprah about this man named Jonas Elrod. He had experienced a sudden spiritual awakening whereby he began to see spirits. Here is a trailer for his documentary:

Here is a description of his experience. There is a lot more on YouTube if you are interested:

Jonas Elrod was leading an ordinary life until he woke up one day to a totally new reality. He suddenly could see and hear angels, demons, auras and ghosts. The documentary WAKE UP follows this fascinating story of an average guy who inexplicably developed the ability to access other dimensions. With his loving but skeptical girlfriend by his side, Jonas crisscrosses the country as he searches for answers and delves deeper into this thrilling world of the phenomenal and spiritual.

Listening to his podcast caused me to feel contemplative and thoughtful about the issue of skepticism. As a result, I thought I would write this post about skepticism as it applies to my afterlife communication with Robin.

Most of us at some point in our lives have to deal with the skepticism of others. Whether it’s an opinion or belief you have, we come across people that don’t quite believe what we are saying. When you start getting into the territory of afterlife communication, near-death experiences, spiritual awakenings, psychic and other paranormal phenomena, the skepticism rate often drastically increases.

afterlife CommunicationsGiven that I am writing about a twin soul afterlife connection with someone who was famous, I feel I have a responsibility to address the topic of skepticism.

I would like to begin by saying that I believe healthy skepticism is vitally important, especially when it comes to topics like I am writing about.

As you know, the truth is that there are many non-famous people with attachments and obsessions towards famous people that are clear signs of diagnosable mental illness. Therefore, an attitude of discernment is very important and necessary when it comes to subjects like this so that you can separate the wheat from the chaff.

As for my personal experience, not only was I not obsessed with Robin, I was not paying one bit of attention to him, the Bee Gees or his solo career prior to April, 2012. I mentioned this in my Background section. I didn’t even know he had a solo career. I am also not obsessed with any other celebrities because when it comes down to it, they are just people too. Some are really good people that I might actually enjoy getting to know if I had the opportunity (which I won’t), and others, not so much.

Robin’s impending death in April, 2012 was a catalyst for my spiritual awakening to planes and life beyond the physical. It is almost like someone in Spirit, God if you like, flipped a switch and said, “She’s allowed to know about him now.” It is like a timer went off all of a sudden. I felt like I was given a notification. But before that timer went off, I was not allowed to know who he is to me. What good would it have done anyway? He was 17 years older than me, married and completely inaccessible to me.

afterlife communicationsWhile being reconnected back with Robin has been a primarily joyful experience, it too has its drawbacks. One of these is being in the position of having people judge, doubt, or flat out not believe me because my connection concerns one of the Bee Gees that I did not know personally. If I were writing about my brother or child that passed away, then it would be more acceptable to some people. I often joke with Robin about how he came to me too, but I’m the one left here potentially being seen as the crazy one!

The non-famous twin of a celebrity is often targeted with impenetrable skepticism and accusations of mental instability. I am well aware of the fact that some people won’t believe me and will think I’m crazy. It is disappointing for me to have one of the most sublimely beautiful experiences of my life be reduced down to mental illness.

I would like to digress here a little bit to say that mental illness is not something to make fun of or put someone down for having. As a former mental health professional, I can say that mental illness is a serious and potentially life-threatening matter, depending on the illness. Suicide, drug and alcohol addiction are just a few examples.

Here is a good article I found recently addressing this very issue.

Compassion and understanding are in order when dealing with the topic of mental illness. Unfortunately, very firm boundaries and law enforcement, are also in order depending on the situation.

I still choose to write these posts in spite of potential negative opinions because I believe I have important and interesting information to share. I also know that there are some, perhaps many, who do believe me and may even be having a similar experience. I want to support you through my stories. I would also like to say that I am so grateful for those of you who do believe me. For anyone going through a similar situation, I hope you find something you can relate to in my posts. I know that there is hardly anyone to talk to about this type of connection.

The other important reason why I am writing is that I love and appreciate my twin so much, I don’t consider it my concern whether people believe me or not. With this type of situation, you really have to get to that place within your own being. I hope my readers do believe me. That would be nice. But, if you don’t, it is not going to stop me. I believe in what I’m doing here and it took me a long time to get to this place. This website is for Robin too and it is my way of celebrating him and saying “thank you” for the amazing life I have been given by him since 2012.

Afterlife CommunicationsThe spiritual bond I share with Robin at the heart level helps me transcend the negativity of naysayers, skeptics and critics. I have a contribution that I would like to make. Breast cancer has taught me that if I have something to say and something I want to do, now is the time to do it. I don’t have time to waste.

 

Skeptic: An Example

Years ago, I came across this blog post below. It is a good example of a skeptic of those like me who have a twin who was/is famous. I pondered what she said off and on over the years. I think skeptics like this person are good because they test me and help me develop spiritually. They help me to learn how to state my position from a place of inner power and clarity.

I’m not afraid to include an opinion here that may not agree with mine. Actually, I agree with quite a bit of what is written in the last paragraph. It is the underlying tone of the post that I don’t agree with. The bold is mine and I give my response to this commentary in an upcoming post. This is an opportunity for me to respond to at least some valid issues that many other skeptics may bring up and show you where I stand on these issues as they relate to Robin. It’s a chance for you to get to know me better and what I think about certain issues.

Here is the excerpt:

There is one area for which I still have an abundance of skepticism: celebrity twin flames and the need to brag about being one.

 

One of the truly powerful things that I have learned through spirit communication is this: no one on the higher side is famous. If someone is famous in this life it is because that is the way their soul chose to learn their lessons. They take the lessons and move on. So, bragging about communicating with someone who was famous is kind of an oxymoron. The same holds true when it comes to twin flames. A true connection is always validated, that’s a simple fact, and important to remember since most twin flames co-exist with one twin on the higher plane.

 

So, if you can give a summation of the life of your favorite celebrity off the top of your head as a result of years of admiration, that doesn’t make you their twin flame. If you read in a teen magazine that your idol can’t exist without a certain food and you immediately start liking that same food, that isn’t a similarity. If you like a certain kind of music, or a particular poet or even a certain cartoon character merely because your idol does, it’s not an indication that you’re their twin flame.

 

Fame is a facade, it’s superficial and means very little to the soul. A true twin flame would be more interested in what lies beneath all of lights and glamour and cameras; not trying to convince the cyber-world they are their idol’s one and only. The whole idol thing, along with celebrity, means very little to twin flames. They’re connected on a soul level and really don’t need to prove it to anyone. The proof is not in their words, but in their actions. These actions will help define the unique twin flame experience. And though each path is different, one thing remains the same: your twin flame is the most powerful, personal and beneficial experience you can possibly have.

I am going to close this post now due to length and continue in Part 2 where I will give a respectful response.

Thank you with love,

Christina

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