Introduction
In this post, I would like to share my experiences with breast cancer recovery, as well as my prayers for the well-being of all of humanity during this global health crisis. We are all affected by this in one way or another. And, in some way, we are all recovering from something in this moment that needs to be attended to. My heart goes out to those under quarantine or directly affected by the virus at this time.
If you would like to take a break from the news, please join me as I also share a couple of enjoyable stories of how Robin’s spirit has shown up during my recovery.
This is one of the spiritual advantages of afterlife communication: it is comforting and joyful to know that we can talk to our loved ones in spirit when we are experiencing a crisis. Their presence can bring love, wonder and joy into an otherwise daunting situation. It is my personal experience that loved ones in spirit do listen and know exactly what is going on with us.
There is a lot being said about negative contagions right now and rightfully so. But, since I like to be the counterbalance, I would like to mention that love and kindness can also be contagious in a good way. These spiritual qualities are some of the best antidotes for what is going around right now.
It is important to flip these negative circumstances into their positive correlates. There are happy, constructive contagions that we need to remember as well. Maybe it’s the Libra in me always trying to balance the scales!
So, with all that said, here is my update and stories. I hope you like them!
A Silver Lining
I like to share my experiences with breast cancer recovery here because I know that millions of women around the world are diagnosed every year.
That means millions more family and friends are affected by it. My husband and I belong to a world-wide community. Somebody reading this post may have breast cancer now, had it and recovering like me, or know someone who does. So, in that spirit of camaraderie, I would like to share my stories with you.
Having breast cancer is not necessarily a death sentence, especially if it is caught early.
February was my month for going to see my oncologist, breast surgeon and having my diagnostic mammogram. The one I had on February 10th showed no signs of cancer for which I am very grateful.
When you are in breast cancer recovery, it is recommended that you have mammograms every six months for two years after the initial diagnosis. I am still within that time frame and will have another in August, 2020. Then, after that, if everything continues to go well, I will go back to having mammograms once a year, like most women.
I have been very fortunate to have loving and kind doctors during this experience. My surgeon is always talking about the importance of joy. She spoke with me about having an attitude of joy, even before I was about to be wheeled into surgery in 2018!
Sure, easy for her to say! At that time, I was terrified, not knowing if the cancer had spread to my lymph nodes (which it didn’t). But, I was lucky to have her. I truly admire her and so grateful for her lighthearted attitude.
She taught me that even in the midst of a life-threatening illness, I could still think of something that brought me joy. Even just hearing the word made me feel better in that moment. So, if joy can help in coping with cancer, I believe it can be applied to coping with Covid-19. May we continue to find things that bring us joy. If we look for it and invite it, we will find it
Having these wonderful doctors is a silver lining for me in my recovery journey. I wish the same for you if you are recovering from cancer or any other illness.
Some Ups and Downs
As part of my recovery, I take medication to help prevent the cancer from coming back. In November, 2019, I was switched from Tamoxifen, which I had been on since October 2018, to the aromatase inhibitor, Femara.
After seven weeks, I started to have a very bad reaction to it. I jokingly say that my husband said I was like a catatonic zombie! Not fun. I couldn’t concentrate, I couldn’t write my blog posts here, I had no interest in the holidays, I was burning up and felt like I had the flu all of the time.
This is why I did not write very much during the holidays. It was all I could do to get Robin’s Selah post up for his birthday.
I recognized I wasn’t doing very well on this and said to my oncologist that I wanted to be taken off Femara and to go back on Tamoxifen. As a survivor, I feel it is important for me to be my own advocate since I have the ability to do so. So, that’s what I take now.
I know some women don’t like it. But I want to maximize my chances of preventing the estrogen-receptor positive cancer from coming back. At least with this medication, I feel like my normal self and can function.
When I first started taking Tamoxifen, I was scared about how it would affect me. Those fears were and are valid.
Then, I recalled how one of my favorite authors, Stephen Levine, wrote about how to take medication with more awareness and consciousness in his book, Healing Into Life and Death.
Please click here to see an excerpt from Chapter 14 called, Taking Your Medicine. I include this because it may help someone in a similar situation.
This really helped me to establish a connection with the medication I chose to take. I imagined that it was my protector. I also imagined that it had only positive effects in my body. It actually did help.
This approach did not work with Femara because the medication is just too strong for my energy system. But, the Stephen Levine approach did help me become aware of the problems it was causing me more quickly than perhaps I otherwise would have. It is very important to be conscious when taking any medication, and to be fully aware of how it is affecting you.
To each her own with this issue. Maybe someone reading this is taking Tamoxifen too and understands where I’m coming from. It’s not an easy decision to make.
All of these medications have side effects. That is the reality. There are pros and cons to taking the medication and to not taking it. But, my decision to take it was made with my husband as well. You don’t have to make major medical decisions all on your own if you don’t want to. Input from loving, supportive and understanding family members and friends can be very helpful. If you don’t have loving family members, I hope you have good doctors that can help you make the best decisions.
When it comes down to it, I want to spend whatever is left of my life making the most of it, not worrying about the cancer coming back. Remember Memento Mori, especially given everything that is going on in the world. Maximize your time here to the best of your ability.
How Robin’s Spirit Shows Up During my Recovery Journey
Any sign of Robin’s spirit with me brings me great joy. So, I have a couple of stories to share with you that reveal how his energy is with me in surprising ways, when I least expect it.
Part 1: Lumpectomies and Saturday Night Fever (Yes, really!)
Last November, I mentioned that I had a lump in my right calf, which turned out to be benign. Around that time, on November 15th, I had been doing lots of research on benign conditions of the leg, like cysts, while I was waiting for my leg biopsy results.
Actually, after the biopsy on November 12th, I could not feel the lump anymore, so I figured it was a cyst which collapsed as a result of taking the tissue sample.
Even though I was researching conditions of the leg, I saw a breast cancer story by Deborah Copaken Kogan, Executive Editor of Everyday Health come up in my search. Here it is. If you have had breast cancer, I’m sure you will be able to relate to her story. I can.
I read through her story. Then I came to the fun part, which to me was a sign of Robin’s presence with me in a most amazing and unexpected way.
Here is the quote:
“Wow,” said the next radiologist I saw. “There’s a giant party going on in your breasts.” I pictured the dance floor scene from Saturday Night Fever, my seven breast lumps in place of John Travolta and his buddies, doing the hustle… (1)
We scheduled more biopsies, during which the radiologist overseeing them said that my MRI films were so unusual, so odd, he would be using them that week at his teaching hospital, as a case study. (As a case study in what, I wondered, disco boobs?) (1)
I had to laugh when I saw this! I love her sense of humor, God bless her. I thought, of all places to see a reference to the Bee Gees and Saturday Night Fever.
Here is the video from the article:
The funny thing was, this was several hours after I finished writing the Sesame Street Synchronicity post. I had just been looking at Sesame Street Fever videos all day. It seems I was a magnet that day for finding this article!
We even get a reference to “disco boobs.” The doctor said that was a party going on in her breasts. If a doctor said that to me, I would have laughed and said it’s more like a demolition crew, haha!
Hey, you may as well have fun with it.
My surgeon said that cancer cells in the breast look like a “starry night” in mammogram imaging. I thought that only a beautiful soul like her could come up with that metaphor for something that can take you out! Thank God for these gentle doctors who try to lessen the blow. I love them.
Part 2: Stage 4 Breast Cancer Survivor and Robin’s Birth Date
I have one more story to share. Recently, during the first week of February, 2020, I did some research on women’s stories after they found out they had stage 4 breast cancer. I went to this website, https://www.breastcancer.org/. A lot of the stories are encouraging and I admire the strength of these ladies.
I saw a list of stories, and scrolled down through them, but I did not click on any. Then, I saw one that inspired me because she was talking about enjoying life. It is by DivineMrs.M.
In the brief excerpt that I saw on the web page, she talked about how she was traveling, gardening and enjoying life to the fullest even though she had stage 4 breast cancer. So, I decided to click on the link to read the rest of her story. I was so surprised when I saw what for me was the presence of Robin’s spirit with me. The bold is mine for emphasis:
“I was a woman in my early 50’s in good health, married for over 20 years with a son in his senior year of high school (who got yearly mammograms since the age of 40) when almost four years ago, on December 22, 2010, I felt a thickening in my left breast. This was six days after my annual mammogram. Within a month, I learned it was estrogen-positive, HER2-negative stage IV breast cancer. (2)
There was Robin’s birth date, December 22nd, in the first story I clicked on. I have a heart connection with his birth date numbers, so this was very powerful, meaningful and beautiful for me. It was such a nice surprise gift.
Loved ones in spirit like to communicate with meaningful numbers, like birth dates and anniversaries, to let us know they are there. You can read more about this and other afterlife signs here.
This communication made me think of the Bee Gees song, For Whom the Bell Tolls. It’s so beautiful and I usually tear up when I listen to it.
I think of it because Robin poignantly sings, “I promise I’ll be there.”
Indeed he is. In different ways, as some of you have also experienced. He had a good way of leaving afterlife messages behind in his songs. It is like his soul was speaking through the songs, leaving us hints that his presence would still be around. That is how I perceive it and it is wonderful to feel that at times like these.
I wish I knew what the book is at 3:02 into the video.
Closing Words and Prayer
The message I have been given, through synchronicity, is that it is important to stay very close to God at this time. If you don’t believe in God, I understand this won’t work for you.
But if you do, my guidance says it is very important to think about God as being close to you, filling you and surrounding you with love and health.
I also suggest thinking about loving, caring and supportive loved ones in spirit as being very close to you as well. Those of us still incarnate on earth often have a tendency to think of loved ones in spirit as being off in some far-away place. But, my experience is that they are actually very close spiritually, can interact with us and comfort us.
Paramahansa Yogananda said:
“To those who think me near, I will be near.” (3)
This also applies to God, our deceased loved ones and ancestors, guardian angels and higher guides. If you think them near, they will be near.
My wish for you is that you experience their presence during any crisis you may encounter, including this global health crisis we find ourselves in now.
I would like to close with a prayer:
May all beings experience an infusion of Divine Love.
May all beings be in touch with the Light of their being.
May all beings live from their hearts.
May all beings be fully healed in mind, body and spirit.
May God send angels to keep you in all your ways.
Thank you so much for reading!
References
- Copaken Kogan, Deborah (Executive Editor, Everyday Health), I Went in For A Lumpectomy and Came Out A Lottery Winner, Last Updated: 2/12/2014.
- M, DivineMrs., DivineMrs.M’s Story, Last modified on February 2, 2018 at 8:37 AM
- Novak, Devi (2005). Faith is My Armor: The Life of Swami Kriyananda, Chapter 7
Love,
