Recovery III: May All Be Healed

Recovery III: May All Be Healed

by | Mar 7, 2020 | Breast Cancer, General Communications

Introduction

In this post, I would like to share my experiences with breast cancer recovery, as well as my prayers for the well-being of all of humanity during this global health crisis. We are all affected by this in one way or another. And, in some way, we are all recovering from something in this moment that needs to be attended to. My heart goes out to those under quarantine or directly affected by the virus at this time.

If you would like to take a break from the news, please join me as I also share a couple of enjoyable stories of how Robin’s spirit has shown up during my recovery.

This is one of the spiritual advantages of afterlife communication: it is comforting and joyful to know that we can talk to our loved ones in spirit when we are experiencing a crisis. Their presence can bring love, wonder and joy into an otherwise daunting situation. It is my personal experience that loved ones in spirit do listen and know exactly what is going on with us.

There is a lot being said about negative contagions right now and rightfully so. But, since I like to be the counterbalance, I would like to mention that love and kindness can also be contagious in a good way. These spiritual qualities are some of the best antidotes for what is going around right now.

Be the Counterbalance

It is important to flip these negative circumstances into their positive correlates. There are happy, constructive contagions that we need to remember as well. Maybe it’s the Libra in me always trying to balance the scales!

So, with all that said, here is my update and stories. I hope you like them!

A Silver Lining

I like to share my experiences with breast cancer recovery here because I know that millions of women around the world are diagnosed every year.

That means millions more family and friends are affected by it. My husband and I belong to a world-wide community. Somebody reading this post may have breast cancer now, had it and recovering like me, or know someone who does. So, in that spirit of camaraderie, I would like to share my stories with you.

Having breast cancer is not necessarily a death sentence, especially if it is caught early.

February was my month for going to see my oncologist, breast surgeon and having my diagnostic mammogram. The one I had on February 10th showed no signs of cancer for which I am very grateful.

When you are in breast cancer recovery, it is recommended that you have mammograms every six months for two years after the initial diagnosis. I am still within that time frame and will have another in August, 2020. Then, after that, if everything continues to go well, I will go back to having mammograms once a year, like most women.

I have been very fortunate to have loving and kind doctors during this experience. My surgeon is always talking about the importance of joy. She spoke with me about having an attitude of joy, even before I was about to be wheeled into surgery in 2018!

Sure, easy for her to say! At that time, I was terrified, not knowing if the cancer had spread to my lymph nodes (which it didn’t). But, I was lucky to have her. I truly admire her and so grateful for her lighthearted attitude.

She taught me that even in the midst of a life-threatening illness, I could still think of something that brought me joy. Even just hearing the word made me feel better in that moment. So, if joy can help in coping with cancer, I believe it can be applied to coping with Covid-19. May we continue to find things that bring us joy. If we look for it and invite it, we will find it

Having these wonderful doctors is a silver lining for me in my recovery journey. I wish the same for you if you are recovering from cancer or any other illness.

Some Ups and Downs

As part of my recovery, I take medication to help prevent the cancer from coming back. In November, 2019, I was switched from Tamoxifen, which I had been on since October 2018, to the aromatase inhibitor, Femara.

After seven weeks, I started to have a very bad reaction to it. I jokingly say that my husband said I was like a catatonic zombie! Not fun. I couldn’t concentrate, I couldn’t write my blog posts here, I had no interest in the holidays, I was burning up and felt like I had the flu all of the time.

This is why I did not write very much during the holidays. It was all I could do to get Robin’s Selah post up for his birthday.

I recognized I wasn’t doing very well on this and said to my oncologist that I wanted to be taken off Femara and to go back on Tamoxifen. As a survivor, I feel it is important for me to be my own advocate since I have the ability to do so. So, that’s what I take now.

I know some women don’t like it. But I want to maximize my chances of preventing the estrogen-receptor positive cancer from coming back. At least with this medication, I feel like my normal self and can function.

When I first started taking Tamoxifen, I was scared about how it would affect me. Those fears were and are valid.

Then, I recalled how one of my favorite authors, Stephen Levine, wrote about how to take medication with more awareness and consciousness in his book, Healing Into Life and Death.

Please click here to see an excerpt from Chapter 14 called, Taking Your Medicine. I include this because it may help someone in a similar situation.

This really helped me to establish a connection with the medication I chose to take. I imagined that it was my protector. I also imagined that it had only positive effects in my body. It actually did help.

This approach did not work with Femara because the medication is just too strong for my energy system. But, the Stephen Levine approach did help me become aware of the problems it was causing me more quickly than perhaps I otherwise would have. It is very important to be conscious when taking any medication, and to be fully aware of how it is affecting you.

To each her own with this issue. Maybe someone reading this is taking Tamoxifen too and understands where I’m coming from. It’s not an easy decision to make.

All of these medications have side effects. That is the reality. There are pros and cons to taking the medication and to not taking it. But, my decision to take it was made with my husband as well. You don’t have to make major medical decisions all on your own if you don’t want to. Input from loving, supportive and understanding family members and friends can be very helpful. If you don’t have loving family members, I hope you have good doctors that can help you make the best decisions.

When it comes down to it, I want to spend whatever is left of my life making the most of it, not worrying about the cancer coming back. Remember Memento Mori, especially given everything that is going on in the world. Maximize your time here to the best of your ability.

How Robin’s Spirit Shows Up During my Recovery Journey

Any sign of Robin’s spirit with me brings me great joy. So, I have a couple of stories to share with you that reveal how his energy is with me in surprising ways, when I least expect it.

Part 1: Lumpectomies and Saturday Night Fever (Yes, really!)

Last November, I mentioned that I had a lump in my right calf, which turned out to be benign. Around that time, on November 15th, I had been doing lots of research on benign conditions of the leg, like cysts, while I was waiting for my leg biopsy results.

Actually, after the biopsy on November 12th, I could not feel the lump anymore, so I figured it was a cyst which collapsed as a result of taking the tissue sample.

Even though I was researching conditions of the leg, I saw a breast cancer story by Deborah Copaken Kogan, Executive Editor of Everyday Health come up in my search. Here it is. If you have had breast cancer, I’m sure you will be able to relate to her story. I can.

I read through her story. Then I came to the fun part, which to me was a sign of Robin’s presence with me in a most amazing and unexpected way.

Here is the quote:

“Wow,” said the next radiologist I saw. “There’s a giant party going on in your breasts.” I pictured the dance floor scene from Saturday Night Fever, my seven breast lumps in place of John Travolta and his buddies, doing the hustle… (1)

We scheduled more biopsies, during which the radiologist overseeing them said that my MRI films were so unusual, so odd, he would be using them that week at his teaching hospital, as a case study. (As a case study in what, I wondered, disco boobs?) (1)

I had to laugh when I saw this! I love her sense of humor, God bless her. I thought, of all places to see a reference to the Bee Gees and Saturday Night Fever.

Here is the video from the article:

The funny thing was, this was several hours after I finished writing the Sesame Street Synchronicity post. I had just been looking at Sesame Street Fever videos all day. It seems I was a magnet that day for finding this article!

We even get a reference to “disco boobs.” The doctor said that was a party going on in her breasts. If a doctor said that to me, I would have laughed and said it’s more like a demolition crew, haha!

Hey, you may as well have fun with it.

My surgeon said that cancer cells in the breast look like a “starry night” in mammogram imaging. I thought that only a beautiful soul like her could come up with that metaphor for something that can take you out! Thank God for these gentle doctors who try to lessen the blow. I love them.

Starry Ceiling

Part 2: Stage 4 Breast Cancer Survivor and Robin’s Birth Date

I have one more story to share. Recently, during the first week of February, 2020, I did some research on women’s stories after they found out they had stage 4 breast cancer. I went to this website, https://www.breastcancer.org/. A lot of the stories are encouraging and I admire the strength of these ladies.

I saw a list of stories, and scrolled down through them, but I did not click on any. Then, I saw one that inspired me because she was talking about enjoying life. It is by DivineMrs.M.

In the brief excerpt that I saw on the web page, she talked about how she was traveling, gardening and enjoying life to the fullest even though she had stage 4 breast cancer. So, I decided to click on the link to read the rest of her story. I was so surprised when I saw what for me was the presence of Robin’s spirit with me. The bold is mine for emphasis:

“I was a woman in my early 50’s in good health, married for over 20 years with a son in his senior year of high school (who got yearly mammograms since the age of 40) when almost four years ago, on December 22, 2010, I felt a thickening in my left breast. This was six days after my annual mammogram. Within a month, I learned it was estrogen-positive, HER2-negative stage IV breast cancer. (2)

There was Robin’s birth date, December 22nd, in the first story I clicked on. I have a heart connection with his birth date numbers, so this was very powerful, meaningful and beautiful for me. It was such a nice surprise gift.

Loved ones in spirit like to communicate with meaningful numbers, like birth dates and anniversaries, to let us know they are there. You can read more about this and other afterlife signs here.

This communication made me think of the Bee Gees song, For Whom the Bell Tolls. It’s so beautiful and I usually tear up when I listen to it.

I think of it because Robin poignantly sings, “I promise I’ll be there.”

Indeed he is. In different ways, as some of you have also experienced. He had a good way of leaving afterlife messages behind in his songs. It is like his soul was speaking through the songs, leaving us hints that his presence would still be around. That is how I perceive it and it is wonderful to feel that at times like these.

I wish I knew what the book is at 3:02 into the video.

Closing Words and Prayer

The message I have been given, through synchronicity, is that it is important to stay very close to God at this time. If you don’t believe in God, I understand this won’t work for you.

But if you do, my guidance says it is very important to think about God as being close to you, filling you and surrounding you with love and health.

I also suggest thinking about loving, caring and supportive loved ones in spirit as being very close to you as well. Those of us still incarnate on earth often have a tendency to think of loved ones in spirit as being off in some far-away place. But, my experience is that they are actually very close spiritually, can interact with us and comfort us.

Paramahansa Yogananda said:

“To those who think me near, I will be near.” (3)

This also applies to God, our deceased loved ones and ancestors, guardian angels and higher guides. If you think them near, they will be near.

My wish for you is that you experience their presence during any crisis you may encounter, including this global health crisis we find ourselves in now.

I would like to close with a prayer:

May all beings experience an infusion of Divine Love.

May all beings be in touch with the Light of their being.

May all beings live from their hearts.

May all beings be fully healed in mind, body and spirit.

May God send angels to keep you in all your ways.

Thank you so much for reading!

Namasté!

References

  1. Copaken Kogan, Deborah (Executive Editor, Everyday Health), I Went in For A Lumpectomy and Came Out A Lottery Winner, Last Updated: 2/12/2014.
  1. M, DivineMrs., DivineMrs.M’s Story, Last modified on February 2, 2018 at 8:37 AM
  1. Novak, Devi (2005). Faith is My Armor: The Life of Swami Kriyananda, Chapter 7

Love,

Christina Samuels Signature

 

Recovery II

Recovery II

by | Aug 16, 2019 | Breast Cancer, Twin Souls

I would like to start by thanking all readers and new subscribers for visiting me here!

For this post, I would like to update you on my progress with breast cancer recovery and how writing plays a role. I am also going to share how afterlife communication with Robin helps me cope and how it brings a strong ray of light into my life to help see me through. For any of you that are my sisters in breast cancer survivorship and recovery, I’m sure you will be able to relate.

Benefits of Writing

It is very therapeutic for cancer survivors to write about our experiences. I also like to share the educational information I have learned and hope it is helpful to someone who may need it.

If you wonder why I write so much, this very good article by Amber Bauer explains why. Here is a brief excerpt:

Early research into the benefits of expressive writing for people with cancer found that women with breast cancer who wrote about their deepest thoughts and feelings reported the fewest symptoms and had the fewest unscheduled visits to their doctors.

Writing is great medicine. It doesn’t only have to be writing about cancer-related issues though. I have found writing here on this website to be extremely therapeutic because I have a platform to write about the things I’m most passionate about.

Writing is good for my life force energy because it is creative, helps me release thoughts and feelings that I have bottled up and also gives me the opportunity to benefit others. I love making my contribution to the literature on afterlife communication and twin souls and I love sharing how amazing Robin is as a Spirit. It brings me great joy and joy is vitally important in recovery.

Most Recent Mammogram

On August 7, 2019, I had my second post-surgery diagnostic mammogram. My first one was in February which I wrote about here.

The mammogram showed that I’m still in very good shape. There is no evidence of malignancy. I have some benign calcifications, but my surgeon is not worried about them because she said they are likely due to my radiation treatment.

She reviewed the imaging report with me which showed the calcifications are scattered, not clustered, within my breasts. When calcifications are scattered, that is more indicative of a benign underlying process being the cause of the calcifications. Therefore, a biopsy is not needed.

I have a great surgeon that I love and that is very important when going through recovery. When going through breast cancer recovery, it is very important to have a doctor that will sit down with you and take the time to go over your mammogram results thoroughly, to your satisfaction, without rushing you. I come prepared to my appointments with a list of questions if I have concerns, which I usually do. Most of my concerns at this point are about preventing recurrence.

I am categorized as BIRADS 3 which means I am required to have short-term follow up in 6 months to make sure there are no changes in the breast tissue. BIRADS is the Breast Imaging Reporting and Data System used in the United States to describe mammogram findings.

It is customary for breast cancer survivors to be followed very closely for the first two years after the initial diagnosis. I am recovering from Stage 1A breast cancer; and I’m grateful for the close follow-up. It is anxiety-provoking to get the mammograms, but it’s a necessary part of the recovery journey.

Also, the BIRADS 3 category caused me anxiety at first with the “probably benign” language. But my doctor reassured me that I was given that category primarily because I need short-term follow-up, meaning a mammogram every 6 months for the next upcoming year.

If you have any concerns about your BIRADS category following your mammogram, I would suggest that you talk with your doctor so you are not unnecessarily worried about what it means. They can break it down for you in terms of what it means for you in your individual case.

I am doing everything I can to prevent a recurrence. I am at a healthy weight, I take my hormonal therapy medication, exercise (either walking, biking or yoga), meditate, do guided relaxation exercises and limit my exposure to the news as I find it too traumatic.

Afterlife Communication is Spiritual Support from Beyond

While I have been going through all of these challenges with my recovery, I have been blessed with communications from Robin. I also benefit from reading my journals I’ve kept over the years, documenting my experiences with him. Sometimes, I can’t believe how much time has gone by. When I read my journal entries from 2012 and 2013, I’m always surprised at how close my bond was with Robin in such a short amount of time.

The other night, I read an entry from February 13, 2013. During that time, I was living in Colorado. This was an entry that I had completely forgotten about. I wrote about how on the day before, I saw a license plate that read, “HULLIS,” while we were out driving. As soon as I saw this entry again, all the feelings I had at that moment came back. I was so amazed at the time because “Hullis” is Robin’s first wife’s maiden name.

I remember feeling so shocked that I saw that plate because what are the chances that I would have been in the same place at the same time as this car? Pretty slim, I think. It was an amazing sign that pointed directly to Robin. I have never seen a license plate with this name on it since.

At this time in 2013, I was already beginning to accept that we were twin souls. From this communication I learned that the messages were not always going to be about Robin specifically. Sometimes, the messages I received were about people Robin had been connected to. So, if you are experiencing a twin soul connection, it’s possible that you will receive messages related to something or someone important to them.

It is so wonderful to be able to go back and read my journals where I documented what I experienced with Robin 6 or more years ago. One of the best things you can do for yourself, if you are engaged in afterlife communication, is to keep a journal. You will be so glad you did. I can say for myself that when I go back and read them, I feel an infusion of energy because I am brought back to the moment in time in which a synchronicity or message occurred. It is exciting, it’s healing and it’s life-enhancing.

Past Journal Entries Sync with Current Life Events

A lot of times when I go back and read my journals from 2012, my old writings will sync up with something going on in my life at the current time. For example, a couple of days ago, my husband and I were watching videos on YouTube about Amsterdam in the Netherlands. It’s a place we’ve always wanted to go.

Well, later that same night, I felt guided to read through my journals again because I was looking for an entry on a dreaAfterlife Communicationsm I had about Robin years ago. I could not find the entry for the dream, but I found an entry where I wrote about a woman I met in a workshop who was from Holland! The city of Amsterdam is in the province of North Holland. So that was a nice synchronicity and a nice moment where I felt very connected to Robin.

I did not remember this entry at all because it was so long ago. So, it was such a nice surprise that what I wrote about all those years ago matched what I was doing that very day.

To me, that’s Robin’s way of showing me that he’s with me because in the journals, I am writing to him. It gives me great happiness when I receive synchronicity like this and that’s why I feel the communications with Robin are a ray of light from an Incarnation of Divine Beauty! That is exactly what he is. I think his fans will agree! I need an incarnation of beauty around to keep my spirits up, lol! 🙂

October Life Parallel

Some time ago, I found out that the last day of the Bee Gees’ Spirits Having Flown tour was October 6, 1979. They were awesome during that tour and I love being able to see the videos now. I love the ‘70s!

October 6 is my birthday, so I felt a special connection with Robin around this date. It made me feel close to him and happy to discover this as this was a huge tour for him and his brothers. It’s the little things like this that are really big things that cause twin souls to bond.

So, when I feel I like I need a little boost during my recovery, I go back to this Wikipedia page and reflect on how we both share something important on October 6th. I turned 13 on that day in 1979. Robin was still 29 years old at that time, but would turn 30 on December 22, 1979.

It’s fun going down memory lane.

As much as I’m sure he enjoyed the tour, I later learned from my Bee Gees book that it’s possible Robin may have been glad, in some ways, when the tour ended. I don’t know for sure, but here are some excerpts illuminating this idea:

But Robin pointed out that, “For all intents and purposes, this tour is like being in prison.” The group were whisked into limousines after each concert and deposited 10 yards from their tour plane after each night’s concert. (1)

 

Any thought of leading any sort of a normal life on the road was hastily dismissed as too much trouble. “To go out and buy a shirt would require two hours planning for logistics and security,” Robin claimed. (2)

So, October 6th could have been significant for him because it marked the end of a very successful, but grueling tour. I can see how that could have been difficult for him. It’s important to realize that these tours and concerts that we enjoy so much as fans are really hard work for the artists and their crew. That’s why I feel fame is a double-edged sword. Still, Robin was doing exactly what he was meant to do and was well compensated. The world is better for his music being in it.

Well, that’s it for now. I hope you’re doing well and benefited in some way from my update and stories.

References

  1. Bilyeu, Melinda; Cook, Hector; Môn Hughes, Andrew. (2013) The Ultimate Biography Of The Bee Gees: Tales Of The Brothers Gibb(Kindle Locations 12424-12426). Omnibus Press. Kindle Edition.
  2. Ibid., Kindle Locations 12426-12428.

 

All my best to you with love,

Recovery

Recovery

by | Mar 11, 2019 | Breast Cancer, General Communications

This post is a follow-up to the content in the post called A Note to My Readers.

Hello! I wanted to let you know that my most recent diagnostic mammogram came back normal! It was such a relief and I’m so grateful to be breast cancer free.

During this experience, I learned a lot about breast cancer and found resources that were very helpful. As a survivor, I am now part of a world-wide community and I feel a responsibility to help where I can.

Here are some of the resources I benefit from and hope you will too if you ever need them:

Moffitt Cancer Center, Tampa, Florida:

If you live in the state of Florida or any of the surrounding states, this is an excellent place to receive treatment. If you are uninsured or need financial assistance, you can apply for help with your bill.

There is lots of educational information about breast cancer and a variety of different types of cancer on this website.

As you know, it is important to be as educated as possible about the signs and symptoms of cancer. Some cancers don’t have any signs or symptoms at all and that’s why we are encouraged to get regular screenings.

As you know, Robin had colorectal cancer, but ultimately died due to kidney failure according to this article

I promised him I would get a colonoscopy once things settled down with my breast cancer treatment. My appointment for this is in April.

Rethink Breast Cancer:

In terms of other breast cancer resources, I would like to mention Rethink Breast Cancer, a Toronto-based charity geared towards supporting young women with breast cancer.

It is erroneous to think that breast cancer only affects women age 40 and older. Often, the breast health concerns of younger women are not addressed or taken seriously.

This is a charity that is working to change that. Even though I’m 52 years old, I enjoy their fresh approach. I’m young at heart. Who says we have to stay with stuffy old ways of facing breast cancer?

I love this post on Rethink Breast Cancer by Leanne Coppen. I truly hope you’ll read it.

She passed away from breast cancer in 2011, but left us this gem on what not to say to someone with cancer. I think her post is hilarious at times and she made me laugh. I especially like #2, about not “Lance Armstronging” cancer patients. It’s bad enough having cancer. You don’t need someone telling you that you have to be superwoman while you have it. Give us a break. People wear masks and false personas all of the time, pretending they are so tough. Underneath it all, they are crying internally.

Afterlife CommunicationsI would like to add one other thing. Please don’t say negative things about the treatments or medications a cancer patient is taking. We are doing the best we can with the resources available to us. It doesn’t help for someone who doesn’t have cancer to tell us that the meds or treatments we rely on have horrible side effects or will make us worse. What are we supposed to do? Just sit here and be a sitting duck for cancer taking over our bodies?

If we are taking medication or getting a certain type of treatment, we know what the side effects are and don’t need a lecture about it from someone who is not facing the same crisis. We’re scared enough as it is and it’s unkind to add to it with unsupportive remarks. I’m speaking from experience because I’ve had people make these sorts of comments to me and they are not helpful.

I know it’s hard to know what to say to someone with cancer. I get it. I’m sure I’ve messed up in the past too and said the wrong thing to someone with cancer. But, we can all learn, do better and not make an already difficult situation worse for someone.

A nice thing to say instead would be, “I really hope the treatment is working!” or “What can I do to help you feel better while you’re on chemo, radiation, etc?” I would have really appreciated that.

About Her Documentary

In closing, I would like to share a Rethink Breast Cancer documentary called About Her.

It is about the stories of nine young women facing their HER2+ breast cancer diagnosis.

The documentary opens with a blog entry by Leanne Coppen. It is heart-touching, sad, informative and educational. If you are interested in learning more, I hope you’ll watch it.

Click here to find out more about HER2+ breast cancer. It refers to a protein that some women have which promotes the growth of cancer cells.

I did not have HER2+ breast cancer. I had estrogen receptor-positive (ER+) breast cancer.

It was my intention to be helpful, educational and supportive to my readers by providing this information. It’s not easy to talk about this. It’s not fun, but we need to face it and the more we know the better.

Thanks again for visiting me here and I hope your life is healthy and blessed.

Love, 

Christina

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