In my previous blog post, A Robin’s Nest, I mentioned briefly how I grew up in an abusive family. It is something I have spoken with Robin about over the years. It is also why soul family is so important to me. Robin being a member of my soul family in spirit is just as important to me as him being my twin soul. Over the past twenty years, I have found that nothing truly replaces a lack of biological family connection. But having family in spirit, a loving spouse, and good friends on earth can help tremendously.
While doing research for my previous blog post, I came across my book by Brian Weiss called, Messages from the Masters: Tapping into the Power of Love.
He addresses the issue of family abuse in this section called, The Security of your Spiritual House, Chapter Five, pg. 103. I share it with you here because he made some excellent points that supported me in my life. Many people have suffered due to abuse, so by sharing this, I hope to help someone:
Sometimes your biological family is not your real family. Your parents, your siblings, and your other relatives may not understand you. They may not express love and caring to you.
But you must not allow yourself to be abused, whether psychologically or physically. You must not rationalize abuse as tolerable merely because its source is your family, your friends, or your religious community.
There is an old saying that says blood is thicker than water. This means that when times are tough and your friends or acquaintances may fail you, you can still usually count on your blood relatives to come through for you.
I say that if indeed blood is thicker than water, then spirit is thicker than blood. You can always depend on your spiritual family to be there for you.
Weiss, Brian. Messages from the Masters: Tapping into the Power of Love (pp. 103-104). Grand Central Publishing. Kindle Edition. (Underlining and bolding are mine).
Pre-birth Choices
There is a common belief among many people that we choose our parents. Brian Weiss says this in his book. I include this here in the spirit of healthy debate:
Our lives are not the result of random actions and events. Lifetimes are wisely and carefully scripted to enhance our learning and evolution. We choose our parents, who usually are souls with whom we have interacted in prior lifetimes.
Weiss, Brian. Messages from the Masters: Tapping into the Power of Love (p. 11). Grand Central Publishing. Kindle Edition.
That’s great if you have loving parents, but what if you didn’t? I’m not sure I agree with this belief, and I have never received any confirmation or proof of that.
I think it’s especially cruel to say that to a person who was emotionally, spiritually, physically and/or sexually abused by a parent. These experiences cause life-long soul damage and trauma. I think things are a lot more complicated than to tell someone callously, “You chose this.” How does anybody know what another soul supposedly chose in their pre-birth state? They don’t know. They just think they know. I have seen this belief used in damaging ways to wrongly accuse, judge, blame, criticize, and point the finger at people for their life circumstances. That is why I object to it so strongly. I have experienced it.
People need to think before they say that and know the history of who they are saying it to. Sensitivity and compassion are in order. If they chose something so horrible, and I’m not sure they did, then why?
One spiritual advantage of this situation that I can see for myself is that by lacking warm, nurturing family relationships on earth, I was more open to connecting back with Robin and my spiritual family, my important family, on earth and in spirit. Perhaps if I had the loving family connections, I may not have been as open to such otherworldly relationships as I have now.
Another thing that occurred to me was maybe I wanted to be born into Massachusetts in 1966 so I could match up with Robin and his song. Perhaps the parents I was born to were the ones who were available to me at the time as a soul. It doesn’t mean I was meant to be with them for the rest of my life. Being born into a particular family should not become some kind of psychic prison built on a false sense of obligation.
Perhaps as a soul in my pre-birth state, I had no way of knowing that my parents would turn out to be abusive. Dr. Weiss says we choose our parents, but then it turned out that they weren’t my real family. Maybe I got the wrong script. How much can you really know as a soul, about the life you are about to enter, before you incarnate?
I don’t know if I will ever know the answer to these questions on this side of the veil. I think it’s possible we could plan some details of our lives, but that doesn’t mean we choose everything. There are too many variables involved.
My heart tells me that I did not choose to have abusive parents, but that I can choose my response to having abusive parents. I can choose which direction I will go in.
I can choose to leave abuse behind and preserve my spirit, while also embracing the process of acceptance. I can choose to see the silver lining and any good they passed on to me. For example, I was born into a family with members whose birth dates match some of Robin’s family members’ birth dates as I wrote about in the Life Parallels post. Even if I was in a less than ideal family, my spiritual connection with Robin was still intact. For me, spirit is thicker than blood.
How these birth dates, among many other things, ended up matching is still beyond my understanding. Even with twin souls, not everything matches up. I’ve never been to even half of the places that Robin traveled to and performed in. But maybe, we arrange just enough matching life events so that we can see the pattern and connection we share later on.
I have more to say about this topic of pre-incarnation life planning in my upcoming post called Sparrow. There are many other perspectives. Ultimately, it’s most important for each of us to decide what is true in our own heart for ourselves. That will certainly be influenced by our own individual life circumstances.
Loving regards,
Christina
With all of my heart, I say “thank you” to Spirit Guide Sparrow for this. I know someone out there needs this message like I did.
