After Death Communication: Continuing Your Relationships
I understand that not everyone reading this blog has experienced an afterlife twin soul connection. So, I like to write about afterlife communication in a general way too so more people can benefit and relate.
The way I communicate with Robin falls under the larger umbrella of afterlife communication, so I don’t feel limited to talking about this only from the perspective of twin souls experiencing a cross-dimensional connection.
Closure? Not Necessarily
I still do lots of research on afterlife communication to keep my skills sharp. I often find new and interesting articles.
Recently, I was inspired by this article called 16 Tips for Continuing Bonds with People We’ve Lost. The website is called What’s Your Grief by Litsa Williams and Eleanor Haley.
I love this article because it is reinforcing what I’ve been sharing with Robin for 7 years. I actively practice many of their tips on a daily basis.
When someone dies physically, we don’t have to lose them completely by “moving on” or with so-called “closure.” I rejected that notion from the beginning of my connection with Robin, even though I did not have any models to follow.
Robin also rejected this notion of “closure” regarding Maurice’s death as you can see here on this episode of A Brush with Fame. He talks about this at 17:40 in to the video.
We can continue our relationship with our loved one after they die. Sometimes we might need a little help to know just how to do that.
Deceased Loved Ones You Did Not Meet
I took it one step further: we can build and create a loving, ongoing relationship with someone we did not know during our lifetimes if we can find each other after death and it is a mutual desire of both parties involved. Twin souls or soul mates who did not meet would fit perfectly within this category but this connection is not limited to this. It’s also possible to connect with an ancestor you did not know.
I always believed in life after death, long before Robin’s passing. What I share with Robin was much more complicated at first because we did not know each other. I had several extra hurdles to cross because almost all of the literature on afterlife communication focuses only on friends and family members that knew and loved each other.
They are basically saying that if you did not know the person, we don’t expect that you would be able to create a relationship with them after they die. However, this is extremely limiting in terms of who we are as spiritual beings. Do you really think that the only people you are connected to are the ones you know in this one lifetime? I know for a fact that for me, my connections go far beyond the very few people I am close to in this life. Thank goodness for that.
This article on grieving someone you didn’t know hits the nail on the head for me and is so incredibly validating.
It is a gem in a sea of literature that fails to acknowledge these real feelings very well. Most of the time, people are ridiculed for grieving for people they didn’t know, especially a celebrity. But, you can truly grieve the loss of what you never had the opportunity to have at all. The article explains this very well.
Lots of people grieve the deaths of famous people, and it’s not crazy. Are you grieving Robin Gibb’s death? How about Prince, David Bowie, or Robin Williams? Check out the comments on the link and you will see that a lot of people feel the same way and are quite open about it. I praise this website for normalizing this.
We Knew Each Other
But even for those who did know each other, the common directives given in the grief counseling literature in the past are about getting on with your life without including your loved one anymore.
Things are gradually and slowly changing. Continuing bonds theory suggests that we can continue our relationships with deceased loved ones and that it is a healthy, life-affirming way to grieve the loss of their physical presence.
It seems to me that afterlife communication and continuing a relationship with a loved one in spirit can help protect against complicated grief and bereavement.
It’s is my personal belief that the loss of a loved one is made even more deeply painful when a person has imposed upon them the belief that they should forget about or disengage from the ones they love. Society might give you a year to grieve, if that. Then after that, you are expected to “let go.”
You don’t have to. That depends on your relationship with your loved one. Are they visiting you in your dreams? Do you notice objects being moved that is out of the ordinary and relevant to them? Then, maybe they don’t want you to “let go.” Perhaps, they still want to be included in your life.
This does not mean that you won’t still feel sadness and grief over the physical loss of a loved one. It’s just that perhaps these feelings will not be as debilitating as they could be if you open up a dialogue with them.
When it comes to afterlife communication, it is also important to be aware of the effect we could be having on loved ones in spirit. Cordula Feuerstack wrote about this in her article, Language of the Heart.
Love and gratitude are inviting to our loved ones while other emotions may repel them. The article does not specify, but I would think that anger, resentment, hostility, or anything that is the opposite of love and gratitude could repel loved ones in spirit. If it doesn’t repel them, then these types of thoughts and emotions could have a negative effect on their spiritual progress.
So, I think this is good to keep in mind. We may need to do some healing work before we are ready for deeper afterlife communication, which is fine. You have a right to that after losing someone you love. There is nothing wrong with seeking grief counseling if you think it may help. There is also grief yoga which some of you may be drawn to.
Connecting with Robin in Faith
In 2012, when Robin passed, I had not read any of this type of information yet. I just knew I had to contact him and I was going to try my best to reach him with love and respect. I had to try and I had enough faith in his ongoing existence to do so. I didn’t say, “Well, he died, so I guess that’s it. I guess I should just move on and forget about him.”
How could I do that when he was popping up in my dreams? Trust me, I wasn’t going to forget about him. He wouldn’t let me forget him. He was just getting started and I loved it! Not only that, I felt too pulled and connected to him to “move on.” This was the first time in my life that this happened to me concerning a person that had passed away.
I know this is completely different from losing a child, parent, spouse, family member or friend that you love and actually shared life with on a daily or frequent basis. I too have lost family members and friends that I knew and loved. So, I know the difference.
Robin’s death became more painful for me after I came to realize he had been here the whole time and I missed his entire life.
I never saw a concert. I experienced nothing of him but CD’s and songs on the radio. But, that’s as it was meant to be. I write this with pain in my heart. Twin souls that met after the death of their twin may be able to relate to this, but I don’t expect that everyone will be able to. If you can, you have a very empathic, sweet, and sensitive heart!
I once opened up to a woman about Robin who told me that I share an uncommon bond of the soul with him. It says here that it is rare for someone who was famous to visit a person they did not know, after their death.
So, it may be that people in general won’t be able to relate to what I’m writing about here because it is not common. But, I am writing for a specific audience that I believe does understand me because you have had your own experiences or are open to learning about afterlife communication and twin souls.
Thank you for sharing this journey with me! I appreciate you. Maybe you see some of yourself in the things I write about.
Afterlife Communication: 3 Ways to Keep in Touch and Show your Love
I think a lot of us already know that we can keep in touch with our loved ones if we want to, but we are shamed in to not doing this because we think are supposed to “move on.” Well, it’s time to drop the guilt. We don’t have to live up to the expectations of a society that does not understand. Find the people who do understand, whether in person or online in a safe space. The What’s Your Grief website I have shared here is a great resource for this.
I have been inspired by this website to add 3 more suggestions to their list based on my personal experiences with Robin. Here they are:
1.Make a promise to your loved one…and keep it: A few months ago, I mentioned that I was going to have a colonoscopy. I promised Robin that I would because of his diagnosis with colorectal cancer. So, I did have my colonoscopy and had good results from it (one benign hyperplastic polyp removed, no sign of cancer). Why am I telling you this? For educational purposes. I know that pretty much no one wants to hear about this. But, the person that this blog is in honor of had health problems in this area, so I feel a responsibility to share what I know about this.
I don’t need another colonoscopy for 10 years unless of course I notice a health issue. It was a great relief to get it done and over with. I felt a strong bond with Robin after doing this and I’m so happy I kept my promise to him.
I know that what Robin went through with colon cancer must have been so scary for him. My heart still goes out to him strongly for what he went through. This is why I want to include this message about colon health here.
Did your loved one die of a particular illness? One way to connect with them is to take care of your health in that area. Did a close relative have breast cancer? Then one way to honor their memory could be to get regular mammograms. The promise can be anything you want, as long as you keep it. They will know!
2.Read something out loud to them while holding their picture: This ties into talking to your loved one out loud. I’ve done this with Robin since 2012 and I don’t feel the least bit embarrassed about it. It’s a wonderful and private way to connect.
I couldn’t spend time with him between 1949 and 2012, so I’m spending time with him now. This is how I do it. Missing his life has actually made me more determined to be with him now.
It helps that I have an altar for him with his photo and other items I have shown you in pictures on this blog. I also have other pictures of him I hold while praying or talking with him.
A few weeks ago, I decided to read from a book out loud to him called, Emmanuel’s Book.
I have had this book for at least 20 years. I love the kind wisdom expressed throughout the book. I had not read it in a very long time and thought it would be perfect to share with Robin.
I browsed through different chapters, sharing and reading about ideas on illness and healing.
Then I came to Chapter 3 on Love. I read the first two beautiful pages of the chapter and then I came to page 49 which is important. I read this to Robin:
Love requires no practice. Love is. One cannot practice is-ness. One can, however, practice the decision to love. (1)
This passage made me feel thoughtful as it brought back a memory of something Robin was once quoted as saying. I knew he said something similar about love. Reading Emmanuel’s Book to him brought me right back to his words. I found his quote in this article by Rosanna Greenstreet from The Guardian. Here is her question and Robin’s response:
What does love feel like?
It’s like trying to describe electricity or the colour of air. It just “is”.
It was so amazing that reading this book for the first time in many years led to this synchronicity with Robin. I loved that Emmanuel felt the same way he did and that I could share that with him! It was a nice moment.
It’s fun to read to Robin and even more fun to receive an unexpected mirroring. So, this is something else you could try with your loved one. Find something to read that you think they would like, maybe one of their old favorite books and see what happens! Robin probably knew that “Love is” message was there before I even read it! Spirits know things we don’t or don’t remember and can guide us right into the synchronicity.
Here is the picture of Robin I was holding when I was reading to him this page about how” Love is.”
A few hours after I wrote this section, I got an email from https://www.enlightenedmessages.com/ with my enlightened message for my soul. The message was:
Say “YES” outloud to your life Christina.
I love how the words “out loud” showed up again synchronistically. There’s something to be said for speaking what’s in your heart out loud. When it comes to afterlife communication with Robin, it’s my way of setting up a direct line of communication with him so he knows I’m speaking with him specifically. I pray first, hold his picture, and then call his name, “Robin Hugh Gibb.” That way, he knows that what I’m about to share is for him.
3.Create something handmade for their altar: I like to light candles on Robin’s altar and leave him tea. So, I made special coasters to protect his altar table. I bought some Mother of Pearl tiles, some DIY coasters and silvery paint. I painted the coasters and then glued the tiles on. I thought these would look pretty and be nice a complement to the beachy area we live in.
I have shared in a previous post how I created a banner of Robin’s songs behind his altar, under the window sill. This was in my Valentine’s Day post. You can see the coaster I made for him pretty well on the picture I shared of his altar.
Another nice idea is to buy something handmade for an altar space that would have special meaning to your loved one.
One day in 2018, I went shopping with my husband to an arts show where people were selling handmade items like jewelry, wind chimes and other art work.
I was drawn to one lady’s booth in particular. She had these beautiful rugs. I spoke with her for a few moments and she told me that the rugs were all hand-loom woven on antique looms. If you scroll all the way down to the About section at end of this page, you can see pictures of the artists and looms. Really cool!
That caught my attention because Robin’s ancestors from Paisley, Scotland were hand-loom weavers.
So, even though it wasn’t a Paisley shawl, I thought it would be a good addition to Robin’s altar and a nice way to acknowledge his ancestry. I like to give him things that are meaningful. You can see a picture of the rug under Robin’s altar at the end of this post.
I worked hard on this post, so I hope you enjoyed my suggestions and references!
I also hope that you have the opportunity to come up with your own ways of keeping in close touch with your loved ones in spirit.
References
1. Rodegast, Pat and Stanton, Judith (1987). Emmanuel’s Book: A Manual for Living Comfortably in the Cosmos. New York: Bantam Books, pages 47-49; 164-166.
Love,
Christina